is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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