My liver just broke up with me...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
