We're facebook friends in real life
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
