Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
they're like a gay fantastic four
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
