so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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