I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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