Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
