Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I will be naked everywhere
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Randomize
