So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
