PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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