Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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