i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
