She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
