He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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