I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
