Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
