I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
