apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
