Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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