Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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