We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
