Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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