He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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