His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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