i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
