; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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