Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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