brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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