Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
