rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
This baby is an asshole
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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