it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
