I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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