Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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