I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
