I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
