Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
