i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You pole danced in your parka.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
