Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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