honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
