I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
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ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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