I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize