I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
