I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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