just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
