How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
