Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
