Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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