We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
