She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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