even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
