East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
