worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize