For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
