What should our trivia night team be named?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.