we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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