Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
