Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
