so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
