In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
