The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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