garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
