does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
