he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
