Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
