What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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